How Becoming a Mom Taught Me To Finally Love My Body By Kayra Merrills
I can still remember a key moment in my life, probably around 10th grade, when I woke up to bigger hips, full breasts, and a bigger butt. It was as if my body did a complete transformation overnight without my approval. In this body transformation, there were days that I felt like a beautiful young woman and there were also days where my body’s curviness overwhelmed me.
I used to compare my clothing fit with other young girls, and I envied how many girls didn’t have to deal with curves that contributed to a shapely look in clothing. I would try my best to run in the mornings and engage in crazy diets to lean out the best that I could. But it wasn’t sustainable - and I would gain the weight back.
In college, I began to accept my curviness. But there were still times where my insecurities would hit me and I would begin to try to exercise with more intensity, in an effort to lose weight to be this ideal body vision in my head.
Throughout the colder months, I remember not feeling as self conscious because dressing with layers was flattering in my mind - those months where when I felt the most confident. But as the warmer months came around, I knew that I needed to make sure that I was exercising consistently and eliminating foods that made me gain weight.
Looking back, the act of trying to be a healthier and a more active person for spring and summer was not a bad choice. The problem was the lack of acceptance that I had for the fullness of my body. It was as if I felt that I needed to fix something that was wrong.
